Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Funny and sometimes true

I know I've already had a couple posts today, but I found this email and I think it's hilarious.  I read it to Luke and we enjoyed a good laugh.  I wanted to share this little bit of joy with you. 

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a
distinct slow down in overall system performance -- particularly in
the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under
Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs,
such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed
undesirable programs such as MLB 2.5, NFL 5.0, NBA 3.0, NCAA Football
and Basketball 4.0, Fly Fishing 6.5, and Golf Clubs 7.1. (and possibly
NASCAR 400.0 or 500.0 and Texas Hold 'em 2007)

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes
the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but
to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed, Desperate
-------------------------------------

Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while
Husband 1.0 is an Operating System. Please enter the command: 'I
Thought You Loved Me.exe' and try to download Tears 6.2 and don't
forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as
designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications
Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
As a final backup program, you might try Bun-In-The-Oven (BITO) as a
long term solution. Keep in mind that BITO can come in versions 1.0,
2.0, 3.0, etc. and requires you to sign a 9 month installation
agreement followed by a 18 year maintenance contract. You should make
sure your Husband 1.0 operating system is compatible with the BITO
version before you install this program.

But remember, overuse of the above applications can cause Husband 1.0
to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, or even crash leaving you with no
operating system.
Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 (it runs a virus in
the background that will eventually seize control of all your system
resources).

Also, do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are
unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider
buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We
recommend Food 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck,

Tech Support

4 comments:

Sandy Cove said...

VERY FUNNY! I am going to get pete to read it.

Unknown said...

That is so funny. I think I've upgraded since we are going on 12 years instead of one. Thanks for sharing.

Lisa and Lance said...

That is great! So true! Sometimes you just can't win. LOL!

Marianne said...

Thanks for the laugh!!!